As Hannah Montana once said, “Everybody makes mistakes; everybody has those days, nobody’s perfect.” Mistakes are lessons that everyone has to learn, but some of them can be very costly. There is a group that shares the most expensive objects people have broken from $5 million medical machines to entire fleets of fighter jets. So if your parents are still trying to make you feel bad about that thing you broke when you were a baby, make sure to share this with them.
1. How Do You Tell Your Boss You Broke A $290 Million Satellite?
No matter how big of a mistake you make, just remember you never have to tell your boss that you broke a Noaa-N Prime Satellite before it could leave the shop floor. How do you even explain that to your boss?
The two men in the back must be thinking, “How can we fix his before someone notices?” They should try to get it back on the stand and let someone else take the blame when it falls again.
2. Were They Trying To Simulate Cloudy Flying Conditions Or Did They Release Fire Suppression Foam?
In this army airplane hangar, fire suppression foam canisters exploded, and the room quickly filled up with the foam. It is a corrosive substance, so there is a high risk for potential damage to the planes.
Also, the foam sucks the oxygen out of the area, so it is harmful to anyone who was in the area when the canisters exploded. Although it looks like fluffy clouds to jump on, it is a costly mistake.
3. When You Park On Top Of The Hidden Garage
You would think there would be a safety measure installed so that the garage wouldn’t rise if an object were on top. These things are so expensive, so why not charge a little more for an important safety measure?
Not only was the jeep on top crushed, but the car in the garage was flooded, so the lift malfunctioned causing it to keep rising with the vehicle on top. We can only imagine the amount of money this cost to fix.
4. Sinking Boats N’ Hoes
When you want your insurance adjuster to pay more attention to your claim, you put girls in bikinis on the sinking boat. Why would anyone think that it is a good time to get an Instagram photo while the ship is sinking?
This is what people look like when they are pretending they have their life together, and nothing is wrong, but you can clearly see everything falling apart around them.
5. This Is What Happens When Your Car Is Shaped Like A Door Stop
If you have ever wondered why you shouldn’t tailgate someone, this picture should be a good explanation. The expensive sports car was driving too close to the school bus, and when the bus stopped short, the small car went right under the back of the bus.
This guy got what he deserved for driving so close to a school bus. Yes, it is annoying to be stuck behind as it stops every few minutes, but you can clearly see how dangerous it is.
6. Now They Have A Split-Level
We doubt duct tape or super-glue will fix this problem. This crane split the roof in half in Florida, and someone is definitely losing their job over it.
Maybe the homeowners were getting a divorce, so they decided to split their possessions, and one partner took it too literally.
7. This Is Why You Can’t Park On The Beach
Even though your car has four-wheel drive, and it claims to be “all-terrain,” it will not save you in every single situation. Sand is not very sturdy when you stand on it, so what would make these people think that sand could hold a car’s weight?
Some beaches allow parking on the dry sand, but these people took it a step further and drove as close to the water as they could where the sand is always moving.
8. Sorry To Inform You, But Your Internet Access Will Not Be Restored Until 2021
These construction workers were drilling and got everything tangled with some underground wires. The neighborhood residents were probably so pissed when their internet suddenly stopped working.
The customer service representative definitely asked, “Did you try turning it off and on again?” The man knows they are in big trouble, so he is attempting to untangle it in hopes of saving his job.
9. Don’t Forget To Tip Your Server
This server tipped over, and all we can say is rest in pieces, you had one heck of a RAM. Can you imagine how expensive these are to fix? People probably had so many computer issues because of this.
We always wondered what it meant when people said, “the server crashed.” Now we know what they mean. This is a bad situation, it really megabytes.
10. Houston, We Have A Problem
A technician “accidentally” fired a Vulcan Cannon and wrecked this F-16 that was sitting on the runway. Luckily no one was inside or injured, but that is an expensive mistake to make.
If you are wondering what happened to the technician, he is now a hygiene technician, aka janitor, because he lost his job. The plane cannon wasn’t the only thing being fired that day.
“Good news; we upgraded your cabin to our Open Air Elite Suit.” Luckily no one was injured in this situation, but someone was definitely yelled at for docking the ships so close together on a windy day.
The internet has taught us that this can easily be fixed by putting it in rice or using ramen to fill the cracks. The ship on the left sliced into it like it was butter; these ships can do so much damage.
12. “Oh, The Landslide Will Bring It Down”
There was a landslide on a highway in Taiwan in 2010, and this was the aftermath. It looks like its time to film a Jeep commercial. “Late to work? Not if you have a Jeep.”
We don’t know if it would be better to try and clear it, or if they should just cut their losses and create a new tunnel. Hopefully, there weren’t many cars driving there when this occurred.
13. That Customer Is Definitely Leaving A Bad Yelp Review
It almost seems like this was done on purpose. The bed of the truck is filled with tires, which weighs it down in the back. Second, the lift was only put on the front end of the truck. They had to have known what the results would be in this situation.
There must be a more straightforward and effective way to remove the bed of a truck. Instead of damaging it and possibly breaking something else in the shop, they could have found a better solution.
14. Burning Money Would Be Less Expensive
The person in the corner filing the report must be writing, “Red car one was hit by red car two as it drove into the middle lane and hit red car three into the safety rail.” Those three Ferarri’s are totaled, and over $300,000 just went down the drain.
You can only hope that they weren’t racing illegally and that no one was seriously injured, but people do dumb things sometimes, so you never know.
15. This Car Used Was Worth $1.5 Million, Keyword: Was
This classic Aston Martin used to be worth $1.5 Million, but after this damage, it is not worth nearly as much. Q is going to be pissed at Bond for wrecking a very expensive car.
This is a very sad sight because it is like watching money get up and walk out of your bank account. The repairs probably cost an arm and a leg, but it would be worth it to restore this iconic car.
16. When You Break A $16,000 Bottle Of Wine On Your First Day Of Work
This person was having a terrible day because they shattered a 1945 Chateau Mouton Rothschild bottle of wine that costs $16,000. We would not want to be the person who has to tell their boss about the very expensive wine.
Since its open and they are probably getting fired anyway, they might as well enjoy the remaining win that’s left in the bottle. There is no reason for something that expensive to go to complete waste.
17. A Rock’n Boat
This crash is the accurate depiction of how someone looks going out Saturday night versus what they look like waking up Sunday morning. This boat must have been going exceptionally fast for the lifeboat to change color after the crash.
These boats were built in the ’80s, so they were bound to crash at some point. Also, if 2020 was a boat, this is what it would look like in January versus March.
18. This Moment Will Be Cemented In Their Memories Forever
If the insurance company asks them what happened, they’ll have concrete evidence. Why are those men just watching it dry instead of hosing it off to save the car, possibly? They must know there is no way to save the car, so they might as well watch the events unfold.
If they say, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” their insurance agent will magically appear and save the day. Then they can laugh about this ridiculous situation.
19. What Cartoon Character Did It Land On?
While a piano was being lifted out of a recording studio in Canada, the movers dropped it. The rare and very expensive grand piano was ruined forever, and all the movers had to say was that it was “Kaputt.”
This sounds like a scene out of a cartoon when the piano falls on the character walking underneath. The piano then crushes the character, and once it gets out, it walks away like a crushed accordion.
20. Are Those Neon Whales Or The Aftermath Of A Train Derailment?
In 2014, a train was carrying the cabins of Boeing planes when it derailed and sent the plane parts into the river below. Imagine you are white water rafting with your family, and suddenly planes start sliding into the river, that would be terrifying.
Boeing must be pre-crashing their planes out of convenience for the customer. It’s probably cheaper to test them in transit rather than when people are on them. Also, these look like giant caterpillars emerging from the water at first glance.
21. That’s $5 Million Down The Drain
Someone at the hospital made a very costly mistake. The MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) machine is one giant and powerful magnet, which is why you cannot wear any metal when you enter the room with the machine.
The hospital employee must have forgotten about the magnetic factor and brought a metal table into the room with the MRI. The cart got stuck to the machine, and $5 million was lost because of a very simple mistake. There are definitely signs outside the door that say, “no metal allowed,” so the person has no excuse for this problem.
22. What The Hail?
While this one is not a user mistake, we can still blame mother nature for ruining these solar panels. The renewable energy needs renewing now. Hopefully, they had insurance to cover hail storm damage for the panels.
It looks like nature is starting to fight back. Mother nature said, “you think you can use my sunlight and turn it into energy for free? Oh hail no!” She was furious, even though renewable energy is better for the environment.
23. Don’t Leave A Large Dog In The Garage With Your Porsche
In some cases, Karma takes control, and you get what you deserve. This person kept their dog in the garage with the Porsche. The dog did not like being cooped up, so it started biting and scratching the side of the car.
You shouldn’t leave a dog locked in a garage because it can get too hot, and there is not enough room for it to walk around. The Porsche became the world’s most expensive chew toy.
24. 30 Gaming Systems and 2,000 Games Destroyed In A Fire
After building the perfect man cave with 30 gaming systems and over 2,000 games, the room was destroyed in a house fire. How does a man mourn the loss of not only his favorite room in the house but also an entire collection of video games?
For anyone who has a nice gaming room in their house with high-value items, make sure you get it insured so that you can try to get everything brand new. Even though there were probably items that cannot be replaced, at least he could have gotten money for it to buy something else.
25. Every Alcoholics Nightmare
We don’t even want to know how much money was lost when this entire shelf of wine came crashing to the ground, leaving what looks like a crime scene behind. The guy couldn’t decide if he should risk being crushed by the bottles or let it continue to fall.
The dog also looks very concerned about the loss of wine. This is a prime example of why you do not go with the cheaper contractor because the rack wasn’t anchored well enough, and it fell off the wall.
26. The Slide Is Supposed To Be Opened Outside, Right?
The slide that is supposed to be deployed once the door opens was accidentally inflated inside the plane. Each time one of these is used, it costs $25,000. Thankfully no one was on the plane, or the airline would have lost more money to refund all their tickets.
Something sharp would be useful to pop this, but TSA took all the tweezers and nail scissors away. Of all the ways you think you could die on a plane, suffocating under an adult bounce house is probably not one of them.
27. “Who Is Going To Tell The Boss?”
What is yellow and can’t swim? An excavator. Why can’t it swim, you ask? It only has one arm. It seems that whenever there is a disaster scene, there are always a few men standing around staring in disbelief.
If only they had a machine that could dig this out…oh wait. If they send a second excavator in to rescue it, it will probably get stuck as well.
28. Money Cannot Be Sanitized In The Microwave
Someone thought it would be a good idea to put their money in the microwave so they could disinfect it. Instead of clean money, they melted $5,000 Canadian. There is a reason they call it money laundering and not money microwaving.
Canadian notes are plastic, so whoever did this did not understand that plastic melts when it is heated. Why wouldn’t they think to clean it with soap and water first? Corona makes you do dumb things.
29. He Sank 2 Cars While Trying To Save His $300,000 Boat From Sinking
In an attempt to save his $300,000 boat, this man not only sunk his pickup truck, but he also sank his Jeep. He has more money than he has brains. If you couldn’t get it out with one car, why risk the second one.
His insurance agent is never going to believe him when he has to file the report for his cars and boat. He definitely isn’t getting any money for his claims.
30. Stray Bullet Shattered Brand New Solar Panels…Only In America
This person could look on the bright side and be thankful that he wasn’t hit by the bullet instead. Someone took the saying, “suns out; guns out” a little too literally.
This is why people shouldn’t shoot their guns into the air. The bullet has to come down eventually, and it is going to damage something on its way down.
31. How Will They Get Back To The Future?!
With extensive damage to the DeLorean, Doc and Marty are going to be stuck in the past, and the space-time continuum is disrupted forever. Doc should have realized that the engine could overheat with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity pumping through it.
The flux capacitor got too hot because Marty and Doc were traveling to and from the future so often, so it exploded. It is going to take months for this to be fixed.
32. “Well, Now What?”
Someone forgot to lower the dump on the truck, and by someone, we mean the man staring in awe at the damage. Now the lifted bed is the only thing holding this building in place, way to go Paul.
It must feel horrible to have to call your boss and say, “Hi, I have a problem. I broke the building.” His boss would probably start laughing because he thought it was a joke until he saw the damage.
33. “Sorry Folks, We Are Going To Have To Deplane, There Was A Minor Accident.”
As you are settling into your seat and getting ready for your first plane ride in over a year, you hear the captain start to make an announcement. “Unfortunately, there is an issue with the luggage, and we are experiencing some delays today.”
How does a luggage truck cause this much damage to a plane engine of that size? That would cost millions of dollars to repair, and the only excuse the driver can give is, “there was a blind spot.”
34. Forty-Five Thousand Barrels Of Burned Whisky Later
This distillery caught fire, and alcohol burns quickly, so they left the barrels of whiskey to burn up to avoid runoff into a nearby water source—props to the company for putting the environment before profits.
When they said it was fire whiskey, we didn’t realize they were serious. Some whiskey lover was watching from afar in tears because of all the wasted alcohol.
35. Why Crash One, When You Can Crash Two
If insurance companies had nightmares, this is what they would look like. “Hi, I crashed my Lamborghini into another Lamborghini.” Any insurance agent would be sweating after hearing that sentence.
It looks like Bumblebee from Transformers was roughhousing with his clone, and they got a little too aggressive, so they turned back into cars and waited for someone to help.
36. This Is Where Our Tax Dollars Go
If people were scared to tell their bosses about the damage they caused, imagine how a soldier would feel telling their Sergeant that they cost the army millions of dollars. How does something like this happen?
What would make the driver swerve so that the convoy land flat upside-down? He must have been texting and driving. That is the only reasonable explanation.
37. Did It Hit An Iceberg?
This $70 million yacht capsized in a port in Greece, and our first thought was that someone let Jordan Belfort dock it while he was on quaaludes. If you can afford a yacht at that price, you can probably afford another one.
If only there were a way to save the boat in this situation. We can only imagine how beautiful the inside looks on a yacht in that price range.
38. Old Mine Land Is So Cheap Because It Is Unstable…
In South Dakota, residential homes were built on an abandoned gypsum mine, but the ground is not stable, and a sinkhole made their property worthless. The residents of the community decided to explore the tunnel with the help of the National Speleological Society.
The team discovered that the mine ran under about 12 homes on the street. They couldn’t explore all the tunnels because it was too dangerous, but they found a car inside, which means someone knew how dangerous it was to build homes there before the community was developed.
39. A Rag Got Left In An Engine After Repairs
Someone took their car in for repairs, and when they left, they needed even more repairs because someone left a rag in the engine. Instead of paying the repair shop, they should be paying the owner of the car.
The mechanic was probably upset that his best rag was torn to shreds by this powerful car engine. How expensive is the cloth versus the car engine? These are the important questions.
40. If You Crash During A Test Drive, You Shouldn’t Own That Car
This person test drove a $300,000 Porsche and crashed it. Is there a policy if you break it you have to buy it? Some people don’t know how to handle these powerful cars on the road, so they shouldn’t be able to test drive it.
Most high-end dealerships ask for ID and proof of insurance for this exact reason. If you can’t pay for the car, you can’t get in one to test drive.
41. A Trailer Full Of New Cars Tipped Over In Transit
2020 just keeps getting worse! These brand new Shelby Gt500s tipped over in Detroit, and they are probably fairly beat up. These trucks drive rather fast, so it is not surprising that it tipped over.
These cars were probably going to end up wrecked anyway, so why not cut out the middle man; it would save everyone time and money. At least they can take them right back to the factory to be repaired.
42. One Car Was Jealous Of The Other One
The BMW was jealous that so many people were drooling over the McLaren, and it decided to crash out of pure rage. Cars have feelings too, as we have seen in movies such as Transformers and Cars.
Not only does this person have to pay for the repairs on their expensive BMW, but they also have to pay for damages to the dealership and the car that costs a few hundred thousand dollars.
43. Thanks For The Warning
We hope their insurance covers that. The tire is completely folded under the car, and the system has the audacity to give the drive a calm warning about low tire pressure.
For the first time in history, the tire pressure warning is accurate. Most of the time, the light goes on, and the tire pressure is fine. It gives you a scare, so you pull over only to find out everything is fine.
44. When A Band Saw Hits A Nail
First, a little spark appears, and then everything goes downhill very fast. There should be a metal detector in front of the machine so that something like this wouldn’t happen. Now the machine is out of order until they can replace all the broken parts.
Whoever was working that day saw this happen and turned to their co-worker to say, “I call not telling the boss.” No one wants to have that conversation with their superior.
45. Porsche Vs. Tesla
The rule of the road is that the person who hits a car from behind is at fault. Even if the driver stopped short for no reason, the rear-ender has to pay for the damages. In this case, those damages are going to be quite costly.
The people thought this is how you create a new kind of electric car, but they didn’t learn that cars don’t reproduce like humans. Some things can’t happen the “natural” way.
Woman Hilariously Recreates Celebrity Instagram Photos And The Results Are Too Good
This article was originally published on TheFunPost
When you scroll through Instagram, it is hard not to roll your eyes at some of these celebrity photos. When you really look at what they are posting, it seems ridiculous because real people don’t look like them or post pictures like them. But they are famous, so they get a free pass. However, Australian comedian Celeste Barber is back at it with a new collection of celebrity Instagram recreations to show everyone what ordinary people would look like if they took the same pictures. Remember, what you see online is not always the truth, and Barber’s hysterical photos are the perfect reminder of that. See who she teases next with this new batch of hilarious pics.
“The Flash…It’s Blinding!”
According to science, Bella Hadid is the most beautiful girl worldwide, and while we’re still debating that, many people agree. However, looks aside, she does post some truly bizarre photos like this one. What was she going for with this shot? “Oops, forgot to turn the flash off.”
Celeste is all of us when someone takes a picture and they use flash. For the next few minutes, you just see spots and wonder if you are actually losing your vision permanently. How does Bella keep her eyes open like it is nothing? Is she even human?
“Tripped Over The Stool, Pants Fell Down, But I Must Save The Chips”
We don’t know what is going on in either photo, but both of them look extremely uncomfortable. We can’t imagine why the original model was asked to pose like this, and it makes no sense, but that’s fashion, right? At least Celeste is reaching for something.
The bottom photo tells the story of a woman who dropped her chips and didn’t want to get off the chair, so she reached as far as possible to grab them while keeping her legs on the stool. The only part we can’t figure out is why her pants are falling off.
“All I Want For Christmas Is Realistic Tree Standards”
‘Tis the season to be merry, go outside, kill a tree, bring it inside, then let it die and put it outside again. While we are all for Christmas trees because they are festive, we have to question why celebrities need one for every room? They also pick trees that are the size of a normal house.
Most people don’t have 12-foot pine trees in every room, and they look puny in comparison. Celeste was clearly going for the opposite feel with her Charlie Brown Christmas inspired tree. She can call it minimalism, and it will be trendy and eco-friendly.
KoKo And Kylie 2.0
Do you ever just hug your sister and rub your hands on her chin? We are going to guess that you don’t, and although it was for a makeup advertisement, it still looks silly next to the bottom picture. Kylie and Khloe were showing off their makeup collaboration while Celeste is showing off her friend’s dental work.
It’s like we can barely tell the two photos apart. Celeste and her friend are a little more hands-on than Kylie and Khloe, but who isn’t like that with their friends or siblings? We wouldn’t let friends pick our noses but to each their own.
“Jingle, Jingle”, Is That The Bank Calling?
When you have so much money that you start to think all those presidents are talking to you. Have you ever noticed that some celebrities feel the need to flaunt their wealth by posing with stacks of money? We know you are rich; there is no need to rub it in our faces.
On the other hand, does anyone else keep a jar of change that they don’t know what to do with? Like Celeste, the jar of coins is more realistic than stacks of $100. Over time it continues to accumulate until you can get to a Coin Star and find out it wasn’t that much money.
“I Dream Of Eating”
While Bella Hadid is dreaming, the rest of the world is eating or dreaming about eating. They used to say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but most people would rather eat a cheeseburger than starve themselves to lose a few pounds because everybody is beautiful.
Besides the message, we just don’t understand the concept behind this photoshoot. Did she lose her clothes and the only thing around to use as a cover-up was a piece of fabric with the words, “I dream” on it? When she found this piece of cloth, why did the guy have to hold it up for her? Someone explain!
“Fell Face First Into The Wall, No Big Deal”
This is how it looks when you drink too much at the pre-game and try to drag yourself out of the house physically, but you find a place to rest your head instead. The next thing you know, it’s Monday morning, and you skipped an entire day because you got too drunk.
With or without alcohol, this is how we feel every morning trying to drag ourselves out of bed to get ready for work. Luckily most people are working from home these days, so you can just roll over and log on for the day without leaving the warmth of your bed.
He Is Going To Feel This Tomorrow
His back will be sore for the next few days after falling onto the water like that. When you kiss your significant other by the pool, don’t you fall passionately yet gracefully into the water? Celeste showed that it’s not as easy as they make it seem, and their photo looks painful.
We understand that it’s more about the art of the photo, but how do they look natural as they are falling? The two models should give everyone, including Celeste, falling lessons. At least her husband got his pose down, but we can only imagine his face as they hit the water.
Getting Out Of The Pool Gracefully Is Impossible
If you have ever gotten out of the pool gracefully, we commend you because it seems like an impossible task. It’s easy to lift yourself out of the water, but no one looks good swinging their legs over the edge of the pool. No matter what we imagine, we always look like a gremlin crawling out of the depths.
We would love to see this model try to get her legs out of the water. She looks good now, but wait until she starts swinging her legs over the edge, then she will be back on our level. Next time you go swimming, try to get out as gracefully as possible and see that it is nearly impossible.
Someone Needs A Weed Whacker
If this isn’t attractive, we don’t know what is. All jokes aside, why is something called the lady garden? Who would want to associate their perfume with their downstairs area? It just seems like the name is trying too hard.
Plus, you can’t have a lady garden without all the weeds and shrubs. No garden is perfect because they all need to be maintained through a series of painful tasks. Weed whacking isn’t so bad; it’s the weed pulling that makes people’s eyes water.
Just A Light Poolside Workout
When you are chilling at the pool or beach, do you not randomly find the nearest wall to hang onto? Just for a light wall workout, you know, to make your muscles show for all the cute pictures you are about to take. If you don’t do this, it is perfectly normal.
It’s like when you are hanging out with your friends, and someone says your crush is coming so you “act natural,” but end up looking forced. The top picture is what people think they look like, while the bottom photo is how they actually look.
“Oh, Were You Trying To Move This Couch?”
When movers come to take away your furniture, the natural thing to do is let them move it without any problems. However, celebrities are a bit different. They think their movers will also carry them on the furniture so they can feel like royalty.
The men’s faces in Celeste’s photo are a much more realistic depiction of how people would feel if someone tried to sit on the furniture they were moving. Even the men in the top photo look awkward and uncomfortable. It is bizarre on so many levels.
“What Is Wrong With My Wife?”
“Hey babe, I’m ready for the photo shoot.” “Where are your clothes?” “What do you mean?” “I thought we were doing family photos for our parents. Isn’t it inappropriate that you are naked?” “It’s not inappropriate; it’s inspiring cause I just had a baby.”
While her husband might not understand the no clothes aspect, she doesn’t care because she gives the fans what they want… or even what they don’t want. John might be happy, but Celeste’s husband is thinking about what his parents will think when they get this as a Christmas card.
Wind In My Hair And Not A Care In The World
When you are in the club and you find a fan to help you cool off. Some people would look glam like Miley Cyrus, and the rest of us would look like we got stuck in a wind tunnel, like Celeste. Maybe a leaf blower wouldn’t be the best option because of how much wind power it has.
People can’t be glamourous all the time, but we can do our best not to get overheated. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do, especially when she is wearing a full-on spandex catsuit that traps heat and makes you sweat ten times more.
Doesn’t Everybody Play The Piano Naked?
When you are trying to show off for your husband’s friends, and then you remember you are nude, you don’t know how to play the piano, and this is a horrible nightmare. Who goes nude except for a pair of Adidas sneakers to play the piano?
Just imagine how uncomfortable it would be to peel you bare behind off of a leather piano seat. Just thinking about it makes us uncomfortable. This must be the best way to absorb the music; if you are nude, it seeps right into your skin.
“New Tattoos, What Do You Think?”
When we look on Instagram, our feeds are filled with models who have unattainable bodies most of the time. When your main job is to keep yourself in shape, it is much easier to look perfect. However, the average person doesn’t have time to work out for four hours a day.
While this model may have an almost non-existent waist, most of us look like Celeste. It’s ok to have curves and bumps because everyone is built differently, so you should love the body you have and everything it does. Comparing ourselves to models is a waste of time.
What Sisters Really Do At Meals
When you go out for a family brunch, and you and your sister start fooling around even though you are both adults. Your parents are embarrassed, but you are your sibling could care less because you’re drunk off the mimosas and can’t stop laughing.
We can’t all be as cool as Kendall and Kylie, but we can all be as silly as Celeste and her sister. There is nothing wrong with a little immaturity here and there to make life more exciting. Sometimes you have to pretend your fries are walrus teeth.
Casually Hanging In The Backyard With The Kids Toys
Have you ever stripped down to your undergarments and walked outside to play with a tractor? No, just these two? Out of all the strange photoshoots Kim Kardashian has done, this has to be the weirdest. She walked around a construction site in her underwear, and we don’t know why.
If anyone can explain that photoshoot, that would be great because we still think about it to this day. At least Celeste is in the comfort of her gated backyard, so people can’t see what she is doing and wonder what is wrong with her.
After A Long Night Of Drinking Expectation Vs. Reality
When you get home from a long night of clubbing, and you hope that you can fall asleep with a sliver of dignity, even if it’s by the front door. However, when you wake up, you look like a hot mess because you passed out the second you got in the door.
While we all aim to make it to the couch or the bed, sometimes that just doesn’t happen, and we end up on the floor. Although it isn’t the best option, at least we made it home that night. That’s something to be grateful for.
If Gwyneth Rolls In The Mud, Everyone Should
When you go on vacation with nannies versus holidaying with your children. When people have five nannies to take care of one child, they can enjoy spa treatments and purposely put mud on their bodies. However, when you have to watch three children on the beach, you will probably get covered in mud involuntarily.
If Gwyneth Paltrow is rolling around in the mud, we should all be doing that because she never ages, so that must be her secret. Maybe she uses a particular type of mud, but we don’t think Celeste’s mud is very good for her skin. It looks closer to asphalt than mud.
The Glass Says Everything You Need To Know
If there is one thing to know about Celeste, her wine is ten times more important than coffee, so if you touch it, prepare for a throat punch. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can drink all the coffee she wants; that just means there is more wine for Celeste.
There must be something you love so much that you are willing to fight someone over it. Celeste’s message is much more relevant, especially since all we have, during these troubling times, is our wine and a sliver of sanity to hold onto.
When Someone Says, “Act Natural”
When you are Beyonce, no one is paying attention to anyone else in the picture, but Celeste wanted to make sure her husband didn’t steal the spotlight. Celeste said, “You know your place, babe. Stay in the background.” When you wear a silver lamé catsuit, no one can steal your thunder.
If you really want to stand out in a photo, just cover other people’s faces so that you are the only one in focus. Beyonce would probably cover up Jay-Z’s face if she could, but her fans would think he cheated again. However, that would mean a new album is coming, so it’s really a win-win.
BBQ Is Way Better Than GQ
GQ might be all about looking sharp and living smart, but we don’t know if sitting naked on a chair in an empty room is the smartest way to live. On the other hand, BBQ monthly has been changing your perception of women since its creation, and that is a message we can stand behind.
We love how she shamelessly shows everyone how ridiculous these celebrity photos are. If anyone else posted a picture like Bella Thorne, people would question their sanity, but she gets away with it because she is famous and fit.
When You Haven’t Tried On Jeans In Months…
After spending months of doing nothing but taking trips to and from the refrigerator because that was the furthest we could all travel, some of us are having trouble buttoning our jeans. Sweatpants are great, but eventually, we have to pull on a pair of real pants and face the music.
Some of us might have an easier time buttoning those pants, while a few of us will have to do some jumps, squats, and wiggles to get the pants on. Lying down always helps when putting on a fresh pair of jeans, you just might not be able to stand up after.
Climbing A Tree Naked…Why Not?
When there isn’t a star emoji big enough to cover you up, you have to improvise. Kim Kardashian must have wanted to connect with nature, so she took off her clothes and climbed up a tree. At least Celeste kept her underwear on because that is not a place you would want to feel tree bark.
Who doesn’t spend their afternoons spying on neighbors from the tree while they only wear boots and star pasties? Is that not normal? Kim is probably spying on Kanye to make sure he doesn’t try to run for president again.
Mind The Gap, Stay Behind The Yellow Line
We would advise against using the side of a subway car to prop your foot up because it could start moving, but that is just our opinion. If you try this, you might get some strange looks like Celeste, but ignore the haters because they know nothing about fashion photography.
While she might be getting a good stretch in her legs, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to ignore the safety warnings. Those “mind the gap” signs are there for a reason, so people don’t die. We aren’t experts, but there are better ways to stretch and show off your legs.
If J.Lo Can Do It, So Can You
As much as we love J.Lo and A.Rod, we don’t know many people who realistically wear diamond-encrusted underwear. That does not look comfortable, and we can’t imagine the level of chafing someone would get from those undies. Celeste’s granny knickers look much more comfortable.
When you are that established in your career and have a consistent fan-base, why is it still necessary to show off her butt? Everyone knows she is gorgeous, but this feels a little forced. The goofy version is so much better and more realistic.
When It’s Monday Morning And You Don’t Want To Get Out Of Bed
When you drag yourself out of bed for work on Monday morning, the thought of walking down the stairs before a cup of coffee is too much, so you crawl down face-first instead. Some people can’t function until that first bit of caffeine kicks in, and we are like them.
We don’t know who the original photo is trying to target, but it is hard to understand who their market is? Are they trying to show what this bodysuit would look like if you fell down some stairs? It makes no sense.
Doesn’t Everyone Get Naked Before A Champagne Shower?
If you don’t strip down to your birthday suit to open a bottle of champagne, we have a lot of questions. It is called a champagne shower for a reason, and you wouldn’t take a normal shower with clothes on, so this isn’t any different.
Unlike the model, we wouldn’t be laughing because no one wants to feel cold, sticky alcohol all over their hair and body. It might be the next best thing in at-home DIY beauty treatments, but for now, we will stick to drinking the champagne instead of pouring it on people.
How To Create Your Own Strappy Bikini For Horrible Tan Lines
If you have ever wanted to know what it was like to wrap yourself in shoelaces, just grab a strappy bikini and head out to the pool. With that many strings, you might need a bottle of wine and a straw to get through the uncomfortable phase.
While most people think Celeste is channeling her sultry side, she is actually making that face out of pain. You can try out this look, too, when Celeste releases her line of shoelaces. If you stay in the sun long enough, you can get a ridiculous tan that will look like a mosaic.
“Do You Need Something?”
When you try to sneak off for a moment of peace and a snack because your kids are driving you up a wall, but they find your hiding spot. Everyone needs a break once in a while, and you deserve to treat yourself to your favorite snack at that moment.
It’s like children have a sixth sense to know when you are relaxing, and then their senses tingle to come bother you. No matter where you try to hide, they will find you, and it might be in the bushes on the side of the house eating pringles.
Pink Is Not Just A Color, It’s A Lifestyle
If you don’t have a pink one-piece and matching cover-up, you can recreate Paris’ look with two pink inner-tubes. No one will ever know the difference, and you will look just like a hotel heiress. If Paris saw this outfit, she would probably say, “That’s hot.”
If you don’t have a tropical backdrop like Celeste and Paris, don’t bother trying this at home. While most of us can’t afford to fly to the next state, these two are showing off their tropical vacations so that we can live through them vicariously.
How Everyone Feels When They Have To Sit In The Corner To Charge Their Phone
If they want to complete this photoshoot, they will have to bring the camera to her because her phone isn’t finished charging. As an important influencer, she needs to be on her phone at all times. If she doesn’t give constant updates, her fans will wonder if something happened to her.
Why is the go-to “sexy” pose a finger in your mouth? Is sucking your thumb the newest way to attract a mate in the dating world? Did we miss the announcement about the newest flirting trends? Because we need all the help we can get.
“Hi Honey, You’re Home From Work Early”
When you are having a dance party at home alone in your heels and bathing suit, feeling like a rockstar when your family walks in. “Oh, I didn’t know you guys would be home so early. I can explain.” There is no shame in having a little fun while no one is around.
This position looks extremely difficult to hold, especially in heels. It must be difficult for Coco with those two balloons on her chest. They both look pretty uncomfortable, and we don’t blame them. Only the chosen ones can pull off this pose.
When You Drink One Green Drink, And Suddenly You Are A Yoga Guru
When you want to feel like you are in that scene of Titanic, but you don’t have a boat. We have seen plenty of yoga poses, but this one looks more challenging than the rest. We give Celeste and her husband credit for pulling it off and staying in position long enough for a picture.
The girl in the original photo looks like she is posing in one of those tampon commercials claiming you can do anything during that time of the month even though most people would rather curl up in a ball and hide for a few days.
I Ain’t Saying She A Gold Digger
When Kris Jenner sees this, she is going to be so annoyed that Kim is ruining her manicure. Those hands make her ten percent, and she can’t afford for Kim to lose jobs because of a botched manicure. There is a “no nail-biting” clause in her contract that she is breaking.
On the other hand, Celeste is channeling one of Kanye’s top songs, “Gold Digger,” because she is really up there. She could practically scratch her brain, and that is something Kim would never be caught doing. She is too cool for public nose-picking.
When In Doubt, Draw Your Abs On
Here’s a secret fitness tip: If you don’t have defined abs, take a sharpie and draw them on. Since it is a permanent marker, you will always have abs drawn on whenever you need to show off your stomach. No one will ever know the difference because they look so realistic.
People will be asking you for workout tips, and you can say, “It’s all-natural. I don’t know what you are talking about.” You can even start a fitness Instagram to show off your model-like abs, and people might say it’s photoshop, but they are just haters.
Bieber Vs Boober
When you are in your room all alone and think, “I could really take this time to focus on a charity that helps the greater good of the world,” but instead, you take your clothes off, cop a feel, and take a picture. Justin wanted everyone to know he has a handful to work with, just like Celeste.
While we give Justin credit for bravely sharing this cringe-worthy picture, we can’t help but wonder what his wife, pastor, mother, and grandparents think of this because they all follow him on social media. Who do you think saw this first, Instagram or Snapchat?
Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk
Kim’s milk bath must have been a lot warmer than Celeste’s fresh-out of the fridge milk shower. Kim was showing off her MILF status for a Fergie music video, and we understand that moms make milk, but why does she have to bathe in it?
Sure, milk is excellent for your bones as you are growing, but we don’t think doctors would advise milk showers for healthy skin and hair. Milk probably doesn’t do much beauty-wise, and too much dairy can clog your pores.
Grocery Shopping Like A Star
If you don’t have someone push you around the grocery store, you just aren’t on the same celebrity level as Selena Gomez and Celeste. Celebrities are too good to walk around the grocery store on their own two feet; they need their assistants to push them.
If we had to be pushed around the grocery store, we would want a bottle of wine to sip on because grocery stores are stressful with children running around and people not knowing how to act in public.
The Neighbors Must Be So Confused
Celeste and Victoria’s Secret Angels have similar mating calls. They both put on the nicest tulle dresses and sit on the front stoop until someone cute walks by. Celeste’s accessories are a bit different with her Viking hat to stand out from the crowd.
Her neighbors avoid passing her house because they think a crazy woman lives there, but it is just Celeste showing the world how ridiculous models and celebrities are. She also pretends to drink coffee when it is really wine, so her neighbors don’t judge her too much.
Celebrity Lives Vs Real Life
While celebrities are drowning in designer bags, shoes, clothes, and luxury items, us regular folk are drowning in bills, work, and responsibility. It must be hard to spend most days shopping and getting free clothes from the biggest designers.
Instead of being surrounded by shopping bags, most adults are surrounded by dirty diapers, their children’s toys, and a flood of tears from them and their children. It’s hard to be a celebrity, but even harder to be an average person.
“Honey, Can You Take Just One More Photo?”
When you want to feel like an influencer, so you force your significant other to take pictures of you until you are satisfied with the perfect shot. At some point, they stop putting in the effort and lazily hold the phone, just waiting for you to let them leave.
Some people like to take pictures, while most significant others feel like Celeste’s husband, who is sick of these impromptu photoshoots. He just wants to go about his day without being called into the bedroom to take a photo that won’t be posted.
How Fishnet Tights Actually Feel On Your Stomach
Paris Fashion Week expectations versus the reality of being in a city where the most popular foods are bread, cheese, and wine. While Kim Kardashian has the will power to avoid foods that will make her bloated for a week, some of us don’t have the same strength.
By the end of the week, the fishnets would look more like they are squeezing playdough rather than sitting nicely. We haven’t met many people who could wear fishnets over their stomach without looking like a loaf of bread, but Kim Kardashian is always the exception.
“Five More Minutes, Please”
When you have to go to work the morning after going out to the bar, some people will get up with ease, but most of us are still hungover and wishing for another few minutes. No one wakes up with a cup of coffee and a smile right away.
If you went out drinking the previous night, there is a high chance that you are still hugging the bottle. That’s how you know things got out of hand because civilized people drink out of glasses while the rest of us throw caution to the wind and take the whole bottle.